The hard emotional hits of life come when I least expect it. I can be working hard, doing all that needs to be done, making plans, laughing and making a conscious effort to be upbeat and happy, and from nowhere, the universe slaps me. It’s ‘normal’ life though isn’t it? It’s part of being a human being, part of existing in a world where others can influence our lives and feelings.
I have always had a very physical reaction to emotional stress. When the universe slaps me, it feels like a real slap. It hits my chest and stomach more than my face, though. I have never been punched hard in the guts before in real life, but the universe has done it many times.
There are core elements of who I am that makes me feel things fully. Emotional pain is physical pain. Shock makes me gasp for breath as though I am seconds from drowning. Do you know that feeling? It’s in these moments that my belief in me needs to be strong enough to be able to know that I will be okay; I will survive.
These emotional hits always come from the influence of others. Something happens, something is done, something is said, a tragedy hits. The solution sometimes feels obvious, hide! Get away from people, protect myself from this ever happening again. Run!
It’s not the answer though. If I were to run from the pain, I’d miss the joy. I’d miss the laughter, the closeness, the interaction, the stimulation, the inspiration, the feeling of being a part of something bigger than myself. I’d miss the feeling of being needed, being loved, being looked up to; I’d lose what grounds me to this earth. I need people. We all need people.
So, I will take the pain from time to time. I will accept the when something awful happens, it’s going to hurt, I will probably cry, I may struggle to catch my breath but I will be okay.
Big Love to you Katy x
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